Nataraj Express

Journey to the Self


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Sometimes

I feel like I am not enough,
sometimes.
I feel my worth is conditioned and shaped by my external experiences, achievements and encounters, by external validation,
sometimes.
I feel misunderstood and alone,
sometimes.
I feel lost,
sometimes.
But other times,
I feel at peace in the moment when the sun hits my face.
Other times,
I give myself permission to cry, just to see sadness contained in little drops.
Other times,
I am free and boundless, when my awareness settles once again in the infinite nothing.
Other times,
I feel deep silence and space that propels me forward to my truth.
And always,
I just am.
I am.


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A moment lost in time

Almost five years later, I’m standing in the same spot, taking the same picture.

Everything here is still the same; the past frozen in the eternal present.

But life has changed many times. I have changed.

Did I change?
Isn’t there a part of me, just like these stones, that remains unchanged by anything external or internal? A constant in an otherwise infinite fluctuation of moments and experiences?

My very own states of being, emotions, actions, reactions, thoughts… they all change all the time.

But it’s still “Me” standing here observing… Still here, in the same spot, in a moment lost in time.


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Stay

Stay.

But if you are here to stay,

let it be completely.

.

.

Stay.

Not because one heart

has a rope around another,

but because we know “two”

is just a number.

.

.

Stay.

There is nowhere else

to run to.

Nothing to fight for,

and all to surrender to.

.

.

Stay.

Just a little longer.

Just a breath longer.

This instant is

all there ever is.

.

.

Stay.